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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?