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We've been friends for more than 20 years, who has overcome many obstacles, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she has been constantly blindsided by people. Her husband left her, which came as a massive blow. Several of close acquaintances vanished at that point, since they had been drawn to her husband. This surprised her. She put in increased attention to be my friend, and must have realised more clearly what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, quite a few of her friends have drifted apart and she isn't certain of the reason. Her last employer became hostile, despite the fact that she had been very skilled at her work, and she left unaware of the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we have each left the workforce and are seeing frequent meetups, yet I realize my role in the relationship is to listen. I start discussion points but she shifts the talk toward what interests her. Politically, she expresses firm beliefs. I try to suggest factchecking or other angles.

She's been organizing a holiday to a country I've visited many times even called home previously. I attempted to offer insights, but this was unappreciated. She essentially only wanted me to confirm her decisions. I recently come back from four weeks in that country and she wants to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to act as a friend who abandons suddenly abruptly, yet I doubt she will ever grasp the effect of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Right now, I am in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

You could end things abruptly, yet this is not often the peaceful resolution we hope for. But confrontation with a view to resolution takes courage and openness for each of you.

Experts suggest using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially is to state how things go when you talk. This needs to be objective and clear and essentially exactly what occurs. The second is to tell the way it affects you emotionally. This allows for no disagreement on this point. Emotions belong to you, of course. Finally involves requesting how you are both going to change the interaction between you."

Remember your friend holds perspectives, meaning you must to be prepared to acknowledge it. A helpful technique is telling her:

"Please share your thoughts while I will not say anything for a set time."

This can be effective in fostering mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

She could ignore your concerns, as some people cling to a deep-seated story: they maintain a story about themselves they won't abandon since their identity is tied to it and it's all familiar to them. This poses a challenge because there's no clear path with these people, mere obstacles. But she may start out defensively and then think on your words. And should you don't achieve an agreement, it provides peace that you've been truthful.